Mark Twain’s Crypto Caper: Fed & Futile Follies Afoot! 🤡💰

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Market Snapshot

What’s Amusing This Week:

By my troth, the land is all abuzz ’cause the Federal Reserve struts to the fore yet again, with head honchos like the venerable Chair Jerome Powell parading their wisdom at public engagements. Pray, on Friday, the lords and ladies of commerce await with bated breath the revelation of numbers-those cryptic contraptions called U.S. personal consumption expenditure, or PCE, figures for August. This very jest is what tickles the Fed’s fancy and guides their dance of monetary policy.

But hold onto yer hats, folks! Coinbase dares to introduce futures that mingle the likes of crypto exchange-traded funds with those curmudgeonly tech stocks. Meanwhile, Hedera, that wily layer-1 blockchain, sashays through an upgrade on its mainnet, proving it’s seldom dull in this digital circus.

Keep an Eye on These Happenings:

The Whimsical World of Token Jamborees:
  • Governance votes and calls:
    • Gnosis DAO to lace up their boots for a grand $40k pilot Growth Fund gambol, voting via the grand old convoluted method of conviction on Gardens. Their pool of jesters vying for power closes Sep 23.
    • Balancer DAO attempts to scribble a roadmap for their ecosystem reaching into the intangible year of 2026, grasping for a modest sum of $2.87 million to fund their valiant quests. Cast ye votes before Sep 23.
    • The same lot harbors a proposal to fling v3 off into the Plasma, tangled up with Aave in a dance of phased checkpoints for liquidity’s boon. Ballot that be cast by Sep 23.
    • ZKsync DAO, in a hurry, calls on tokens for a Community Activation Pilot to disburse 20M ZK, understood by worldly souls as funds, for expanding their reach. The clock ticks till Sep 23.
    • In a rare display of gratitude, Gnosis DAO summon votes to reward a gallant soul who shrieked a bug that might’ve split the Gnosis Chain. Their chalice of bounty is $10K, till Sep 24.
    • Curve saunters forth to lodge a plan for $60M whisked into bitcoin pools to dangle a delectable 65% of revenue within reach of veCRV holders. Time and tide wait for no vote-Sept 24 the deadline!
    • Decentraland DAO to etch a new Veto Procedure into stone, letting Councils cast their votes ‘fore the common rabble can issue a challenge. Ye be wise to weigh in before Sep 29.
    • As the twenty-third of September unfolds, SwissBorg dons the cloak of mystery for a live announcement, ye gods willing!
  • Unlocks:
    • Sep 20: Velo unlocks 13.63% of its treasures, summing to $43.39 million. ‘Tis a veritable gold rush!
    • Sep 21: Optimism parts with 6.89% of its hoard, equaling $96.41 million. Bravo, Optimism!
    • Sep, 28: Jupiter, generous of spirit, relinquishes 1.75% of its wealth, tallying $28.89 million. Applause!
  • Token Launches:
    • Sep 22: Falcon Finance calls to launch their community sale on a place known as Buidlpad. Gather ’round, ye merry folks!
Grand Galas of the Blockchain World:
  • Sep 22-23: Canada Fintech Forum 2025 (Montréal)
  • Sep 22-23: Digital Assets Conference Brazil 2025 (São Paulo)
  • Sep 23-24: Korea Blockchain Week 2025 “Impact” Conference (Seoul)
  • Sep 23-25: Blockchain Real Estate Summit [virtual venue]
  • Sep 24: Bitcoin Palooza (New York)
  • Sep 24: Fintech Revolution Summit Vietnam (Ho Chin Minh City)
  • Sep 24: Global Blockchain & Crypto Symposium 2025 (London)
  • Sep 24-25: Connected Britain 2025 (London)
  • Sep 24-25: ETHSofia (Sofia, Bulgaria)
  • Sep 24-25: Nordic Fintech Week (Copenhagen)
  • Sep 25: Global Digital Asset Regulatory Summit 2025 (online)
  • Sep 25-26: Asset Based Finance 2025 (New York)
  • Sep 26: 8th Annual Black Blockchain Summit (Washington)

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2025-09-22 12:02