They always say past performance isn’t a guarantee of future results, which is corporate speak for “we told you so” when your portfolio tanks. Last year, my cousin invested her stimulus check in crypto because a man on TikTok assured her it was “like Monopoly money, but real.” Now she’s writing checks to her therapist with invisible ink. But let’s talk about AMD.
Five years ago, if you’d plunked down $10,000 on this semiconductor outfit, you’d have-checks notes-$20,790 today. Which sounds like a win until you realize the S&P 500 would’ve netted you $21,190 by playing it safe. Congrats: you gambled on a tech whiz kid and lost to the boring index fund your dentist’s broker recommends.
The Numbers Game
AMD’s shares rose 107.9% since 2018. That’s roughly the same percentage increase as my gym’s monthly fee, though neither has done much for my physical or financial health. Meanwhile, the Nasdaq Composite-a fancy term for “whatever Jeff from accounting buys”-edged ahead with 111.8% growth. In corporate America, second place still gets a participation trophy. Just don’t expect Nvidia’s shareholders to share theirs.
Reality Check
Let’s not forget AMD’s recent “impressive” quarterly revenue jump to $7.7 billion. Impressive, that is, if you ignore the 29% drop in operating income. It’s like bragging about your kid getting into Harvard while omitting they’re majoring in underwater basket-weaving. The company’s betting big on AI, which would be inspiring if they weren’t late to the party, wearing last season’s trends, and desperately Googling “how to smalltalk about GPUs.”
And then there’s the valuation. A P/E ratio of 89 makes AMD stock about as cheap as a Manhattan studio. Meanwhile, the S&P 500’s ratio sits at 31, which probably explains why my aunt’s bridge club hasn’t started chanting “HODL.”
In the end, AMD’s story isn’t about numbers. It’s about hope-the kind that powers get-rich-quick schemes and keeps financial columnists employed. 🤷♂️
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2025-09-21 22:38