BigBear.ai’s Unreasonable Surge: A Trader’s Larry David-Inspired Rant

BigBear.ai (BBAI) stock jumped 35.4% this week. Let me repeat that: 35.4%. Meanwhile, the S&P and Nasdaq? They’re just sitting there, up 1.2% and 2.2% like reasonable adults. But BBAI? The market’s throwing confetti because the Fed sneezed a 25-basis-point rate cut and suddenly everyone’s buying shovels for a gold rush that may or may not exist. 🤷‍♂️

When a Rate Cut Becomes a Cry for Help

The Fed lowers rates by a quarter-point-a move so small it wouldn’t even register in a normal person’s “things to get worked up about” meter-and the trading floor turns into a mosh pit. BigBear.ai, a company whose business model is “defense AI” (read: algorithms that probably can’t decide if a tank is a car or a toaster), becomes the belle of the ball. I’m not saying the stock doesn’t deserve attention, but let’s not pretend this isn’t the financial equivalent of clapping when the plane lands.

The Defense AI “Opportunity” (Read: Hopium)

Here’s the kicker: BigBear.ai lost $0.71 per share last quarter. $0.71! And sales? Missed by $8.1 million. But no matter! The AI hype train left the station, and apparently, the conductor forgot to check if there were tracks ahead. The company lowered its annual guidance-like, halved its revenue expectations-and yet investors are acting like they just discovered fire. I’ve seen more skepticism at a Times Square psychics’ convention.

Look, maybe defense AI will save us all. Or maybe it’s just another “this button does… something?” scenario where everyone’s too polite to ask questions. Either way, I’ll be over here, arms crossed, waiting for the grown-ups to return the keys to the stock market. 🚀

2025-09-21 15:15

When a Rate Cut Becomes a Cry for Help

The Defense AI “Opportunity” (Read: Hopium)

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