Three Bargain Stocks and the Debt Dragon’s Shadow

In the Discworld of Finance, where coins clink and portfolios rise and fall like the tides of the eighth level of the Lakhmari, there exists a peculiar alchemy: the art of turning lowly scrips into golden opportunities.¹ Value investors, those intrepid souls who brave the markets with a ledger and a lantern, know that a stock’s price is but the first page of a tale. The true story lies in the company’s fundamentals, its market ambitions, and the occasional whisper of a value trap lurking in the shadows like a particularly sly UnitedHealth Group²-though we’ll let the details of that tale simmer for now.³

If you’ve 500 pieces of silver jingling in your purse and a thirst for tales of redemption, consider the following three stocks: Carnival, the cruise-ship knight who lost his ship but not his sword; Lululemon Athletica, the athleisure guild caught in a sartorial slump; and Pagaya Technologies, the alchemical lending guild that thinks spreadsheets are magic.⁴

1. Carnival: The Recovery of the Sea Serpent

Carnival, once a dragon of the seas, saw its hoard vanish during the Pandemic Plague. Yet here it is, scales glinting anew, having slain the beast of debt with a 190% rise over three years.⁵ Still, the dragon’s hoard remains 57% shy of its peak, for the beast of debt is not fully slain.⁶

But fear not! The tides are shifting. Demand for cruises is as high as the mountain of paperwork at the Unseen University of Coders.⁷ New ships and exotic ports keep the coin flowing. And the debt? Carnival is refinancing like a miser bargaining with a loan shark, and the interest rates are finally slightly less draconian.⁸

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At a price-to-sales ratio of 1.6 and a P/E of 14, this is a stock that whispers, “Buy me if you dare,” while clutching its debt like a knight clutching a rusted sword.⁹

2. Lululemon: The Athleisure Guild’s Renaissance

Lululemon, once the undisputed champion of the athleisure realm, now faces a curious paradox: its garments are still in demand, but the market has grown suspicious of its new wares. Sales in the Americas dipped by 4%, while international markets-particularly the Far East-boomed by 25%.¹⁰

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Management claims tariffs and economic pressures are to blame, but the real issue is that the guild has relied too long on its classic wares.¹¹ New lines, however, are gaining traction like a well-timed pun. At a forward P/E of 12 and a price-to-sales ratio of 1.8, this is a stock that’s oversold in the truest sense.¹²

3. Pagaya: The Alchemical Lending Guild

Pagaya is a stock that thinks spreadsheets are spells. It conjures loans with AI, sells them as asset-backed securities, and recently turned a profit.¹³ In its latest quarter, revenue surged 30%, and net income hit $17 million-though it’s worth noting that this is still less than the cost of a single dragon’s ransom.¹⁴

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With partnerships with Visa and Klarna, and talks with 80% of the top U.S. banks, Pagaya is the financial equivalent of a golem with a spreadsheet.¹⁵ At a forward P/E of 13 and a price-to-sales ratio of 2.8, it’s a stock that dares you to say “abracadabra” three times.¹⁶

Investing is a game of patience, risk, and the occasional dragon-slaying.¹⁷ These three stocks, like the Discworld itself, are a mix of chaos and order, profit and folly. Choose wisely-or at least choose with a spreadsheet. 🐉

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2025-09-20 18:56