NY Banks Told to Use Blockchain or Risk Looking Like Total Fools

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So here’s the deal: The New York State Department of Financial Services, because they have nothing better to do, told banks on Wednesday, “Hey, maybe use blockchain analytics to stop criminals from laundering money.” Groundbreaking stuff, right? Apparently, digital assets are apparently growing faster than my aunt’s collection of useless tchotchkes, and banks-those traditional slowpokes-have to catch up or get left in the dust.

BREAKING: DFS says, “Hey, NY banks, you gotta toughen up your compliance game if you wanna play with virtual currency.”

New rule: Use fancy blockchain tools to sniff out bad stuff and keep your customers from losing their shirts.

Details? Oh yeah, they got those:

– NYDFS (@NYDFS) September 17, 2025

Then you’ve got Adrienne Harris, the NYDFS superintendent, all serious like, saying, “Banks need to adapt or die,” which is just a polite way of saying, “Get with the program or cry yourself to sleep.” She’s basically reminding banks that they can’t keep acting like they’re stuck in the 90s while the rest of us are dealing with crypto and blockchain and a bunch of stuff that sounds like sci-fi.

Because Waiting for Problems to Explode Is So 2008

The regulators are basically yelling, “Don’t wait for your bank to look like the set of a crime drama!” They want these banks to be checking wallets daily, making sure the money isn’t coming from some shady back alley or Middle Earth. They want the banks to play detective, comparing what customers say they’ll do to what they actually do. Like, chill out, Banks, but also spy on everyone. Got it.

Here’s the official chatter: “New tech means new headaches, so use new tools or get steamrolled.” Also, banks are reminded in no uncertain terms that they’re supposed to stop stuff like money laundering, terrorist financing, and sanctions evasion-which sounds like a lot of fun to try explaining at a company dinner party.

Flashback: Banks Are Told This Stuff Before, But Whatever

Newsflash: This ain’t the first blockchain memo these banks got. Back in 2022, the NYDFS was already giving the “friendly advice” to licensed virtual currency businesses to play nice with blockchain tech. Later that year, they said, “Oh, and banks! Get permission before you dive into crypto projects, capisce?”

Since then, banks have been pretending they know what they’re doing with crypto, either trying their own things or just riding the customer hype train. Officials think these blockchain tools can give banks better “intel” – which sounds fancy but probably means “less chances to screw up.” They’re telling banks to tweak their tools as much as their terrible coffee machines and keep updating their risk frameworks, because apparently, the market is like my uncle at a buffet-constantly changing.

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2025-09-17 20:21