Philippe Laffont, that delusional billionaire with a hedge fund and a death wish, is riding the Coatue Management carousel like it’s a rollercoaster of dopamine-fueled delusion. His “Fantastic 40” index? A glittering scrapheap of tech stocks pretending to be the future. But let’s not mince words: this is the kind of madness that turns Wall Street into a circus tent, where clowns in suits sell tickets to a balloon ride that’s already halfway to the stratosphere. Microsoft and Nvidia? Oh, they’re the ringmasters now, preaching $5.7 trillion and $5.6 trillion valuations by 2030. Let’s see if the circus burns down before then.
Microsoft, the old software titan with a new AI veneer, is like a grizzled poker player bluffing with a two-pair hand. Satya Nadella’s Copilot apps? A hundred million users, sure-but is that a moat or a mirage? The man’s building AI agents with natural language, which sounds fancy until you realize it’s just code wrapped in a hallucination. And Azure AI Foundry? “80% of Fortune 500 companies already use it,” Nadella croons, as if that’s not just a marketing line for the desperate. Microsoft’s Q4 numbers? 18% revenue growth, 37% bookings-sounds great until you realize the market’s already priced in a moon landing. Thirty-seven times earnings? That’s not a valuation, it’s a dare to gravity.
But wait! Let’s talk about Nvidia, the GPU king with a CUDA crown and a cult following. Eighty percent market share in AI accelerators? Sure, but the competition’s not standing still. Microsoft, Amazon, Alphabet-they’re all building custom ASICs, but let’s be honest: who’s got the software ecosystem to back it up? Nvidia’s CUDA platform? A “moat,” says I/O Fund’s Beth Kindig, as if software tools aren’t just a fancy term for “you’re stuck with us.” The company’s 51x P/E ratio? That’s not a valuation-it’s a rocket ship with no parachute. And the 36% earnings growth forecasts? Sounds like a dream until you remember that AI hype cycles end in either gold or garbage. Or, more likely, a dumpster fire.
Laffont’s $36 billion portfolio is a casino bet, with Microsoft and Nvidia as the only horses in the race. Over 10% of his assets? That’s not diversification, it’s a one-way ticket to Overvalued Island. The market’s already a fever dream where logic is just another casualty, and these two stocks are the hallucinogens. But here’s the kicker: the contrarian’s edge isn’t in predicting the future-it’s in betting against the madness. Microsoft’s mid-teens earnings growth? Maybe. Nvidia’s $5 trillion milestone? Probably. But at these prices, you’re not buying growth-you’re buying a participation trophy for the survivors. And let’s not forget: the only thing more fragile than a stock price is the ego that thinks it can outsmart the market.
So here’s the verdict: Coatue’s “Fantastic 40” is a carnival of delusion, and the tickets are priced for the deluded. Microsoft and Nvidia? They’re the balloons, and the needle’s already in the air. But hey-if you’re gonna ride the AI rocket, ride it with your eyes open. And maybe keep a fire extinguisher handy. 🚀
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2025-09-14 11:40