Oh, Great! Robinhood’s New Feature Is Here to Make Everyone Look Like a Stock Market Genius 🙄

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So, picture this: Peter Brandt, the Gandalf of trading (minus the pointy hat but with all the wisdom), has weighed in on Robinhood’s latest shiny toy. And spoiler alert: he’s not exactly throwing a ticker-tape parade for it. 😂

You see, Brandt, who’s been navigating markets since the era of rotary phones and disco balls, isn’t too thrilled about Robinhood’s new “Multiple accounts” feature. In fact, his reaction is somewhere between an eye-roll and a full-blown sarcastic roast. 🙃

Robinhood Rolls Out Chaos; Brandt Supplies Popcorn 🍿

Here’s the deal: Robinhood announced this flashy new tool that lets users slice and dice their portfolios like a sushi chef gone rogue. Want to group by asset class? Go ahead. Time horizon? Sure thing. Investing themes or personal goals? Knock yourself out. It’s all very… customizable. 🎨✨

But Peter-who’s seen enough market meltdowns to fill a history book-was quick to chime in. He retweeted Robinhood’s announcement, adding his own spicy take:

This is the best part. This way on X you will always have at least one account you can point to with screenshots as making the big bucks even though other accounts may be taking losses. This will really make X exciting.

– Peter Brandt (@PeterLBrandt) September 10, 2025

Translation? Thanks to this feature, traders can now cherry-pick the accounts that look good (while conveniently ignoring the ones hemorrhaging money 💸) and parade them around social media like they’re Warren Buffett reincarnated. Bravo, Robinhood. Bravo. 👏

This will make X and YouTube even more toxic slim buckets.

– Peter Brandt (@PeterLBrandt) September 10, 2025

And there you have it, folks. According to Brandt, we’re about to enter a golden age of financial influencers pretending they’re geniuses while secretly crying into their spreadsheets. Because nothing says “trustworthy advice” like someone screenshotting their one winning trade and ignoring the twelve losing ones. 🤦‍♂️

So buckle up, dear reader. The internet is about to become a circus of half-truths, selective screenshots, and people shouting “I’m rich!” into their webcams-all thanks to Robinhood’s well-intentioned but hilariously exploitable new feature. Who needs reality when you’ve got multiple accounts, right? 😉

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2025-09-10 11:36