Metaplanet Just Blew $1.4B on Bitcoin-Wait, Is Everyone Nuts?

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So, Metaplanet Inc. cranked out an international share offering. The plan? Sell 385 million shares-yeah, more than double the original 180 million. That’s a lot of shares! You ever try buying just one share? It’s like buying socks online; suddenly, you’ve got a drawer full. They raised $1.4 billion. Not million, billion. You know how many zeroes that is? I lose count after five. 💸

Apparently, it’s all going straight into Bitcoin. I mean, why not? Leave the yen behind, dodge inflation, pretend sovereign debt isn’t looming over Japan like a Godzilla sequel no one asked for. Just plow ¥183.7 billion into some BTC and call it a day. What could possibly go wrong? 🤷‍♂️

*Notice Regarding Determination of Issue Price and Other Matters*

– Metaplanet Inc. (@Metaplanet_JP) September 9, 2025

Metaplanet’s CEO probably woke up one morning, read about inflation, and thought, “Bitcoin, that’ll fix it!” Back in May 2024, they announced this whole crypto pivot. Very dramatic. A treasury “transformation.” You know, like the time I tried to organize my sock drawer. The intent is there, the results are debatable.

Supposedly, their plan will shield them from yen’s decline, inflation risk, and every economic problem known to mankind. According to them, “sustained enhancement of corporate value.” I mean, who talks like that? Corporate value? Just say you want to make money and not get crushed by the central bank. 👍

Right now, Metaplanet is sitting on 20,000 BTC. That’s about ¥322 billion. Biggest in Asia, second in the world after some other crypto whale named Strategy. At least they’re winning something, right?

Beyond Storage: BTC Isn’t Just for Sitting There

And it gets better. They’re not just hoarding Bitcoin, they’re wheeling and dealing-made ¥1.9 billion last quarter trading BTC options. Wild. So now they want to throw another ¥20.4 billion from the new money into that same scheme. You know how trading options works? You guess the price, lose sleep, and hope no one notices your blood pressure rising. 🫀

While everyone else is quietly tiptoeing away from crypto, Metaplanet is strapping on a helmet and sprinting headfirst into the “Bitcoin or bust” wall. They’re trying to make a profit center out of it by year-end. If this works, expect every other firm to copy them and pretend it was their idea all along. 🙄

This isn’t cautious. This is reckless optimism. Like eating gas station sushi at midnight and calling it “culinary exploration.” But hey, if it pays off, they’ll be the model everyone bookmarks and brags about. If not, somebody’s going to have a lot of explaining to do. 😂

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2025-09-09 23:55