Trading Log: Day 47 of Pretending I Understand Nuclear Energy Stocks
Current Panic Level: 6.3/10. Units of caffeine consumed while refreshing stock app: 17. Number of times I’ve Googled “How to unplug from the grid”: 4.
Oklo (OKLO) is up 6% today, which feels like winning the lottery if you’re a shareholder. But let’s be honest-we’re all just here because Elon retweeted something about “tiny reactors” and now we’re pretending we’ve understood nuclear engineering since 2012.
Bank of America’s “Buy” Rating: Hope Springs Eternal
Dimple Gosai at Bank of America slapped a $92 price target on Oklo today, which is either genius or a prank. The stock closed at $71.19 yesterday, so 29.2% upside sounds delightful until you remember that “analyst optimism” and “actual results” are about as aligned as Mercury in retrograde.
Gosai’s thesis? AI’s energy needs will outgrow Texas. Oklo’s 14-gigawatt pipeline of “memoranda of understanding” (read: fancy IOUs) makes them the prom queen of SMRs. But let’s not kid ourselves-this is nuclear energy, not NFTs. Licensing delays could turn this into a decade-long game of Chutes and Ladders.
Analyst Wars: Neutral vs. Buy (AKA “Maybe” vs. “Let’s Pretend”)
UBS rainclouded the parade last week with a $65 target and a “neutral” rating. Fun fact: Analysts have the collective attention span of a goldfish on Red Bull. Their “multiyear vision” expires faster than my gym membership. The real question: How many of us will still be holding this stock when the NRC finally gets around to licensing it? (Answer: 3. Seven if we count the CEO’s mom.)
Personal Inventory of Shame:
– Stocks bought on hype: 8
– Stocks sold too early: 7
– Number of times I’ve muttered “this time it’s different”: 14
Oklo’s lack of regulatory approval isn’t a bug-it’s the feature keeping the thrill-seekers among us entertained. If you’re not comfortable with “speculative” investments, maybe go back to your 1%-yield savings account and let the rest of us gamble with our life savings. 🚀
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2025-08-26 19:28