Astonishing! AI Moguls Unleash $100M Plot for Political Domination! 🤖💰

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And so it transpired, in this grand and baffling theatre of our modern era, that a cabal of tech billionaires-one must mention the names, Andreessen Horowitz, the Brockmans, Greg and Anna-have, with a flourish of their pens, pledged the staggering sum of one hundred million dollars. To what end, you ask? Why, to jostle and nudge the great, slumbering beast of U.S. regulation into a shape more pleasing to their AI contraptions! 😏

  • A sum of $100 million, a number so large it might as well be the number of absurd thoughts in a government clerk’s head, is to be deployed to influence policy.
  • The aforementioned personages, along with other shadowy benefactors, have thrown their considerable weight behind this most peculiar endeavor.
  • This spectacle is but a pale imitation of the recent, and shockingly effective, political carnival mounted by the crypto-men, a fact which should surprise precisely no one. 🙄

Yes, the AI industry, like a provincial gentleman copying the foppish manners of a St. Petersburg dandy, is aping the crypto playbook. On a Monday, no less-a day already cursed with the existential dread of the workweek-this group of firms and magnates unveiled their “Leading the Future” platform. A name so grandiose and full of promise, it surely hides a multitude of sins and secret committees! Its sole purpose: to artfully bend the rules surrounding their wondrous, and slightly terrifying, thinking machines.

With a treasury already bloated to the tune of $100 million, this organization is to command a fleet of federal and state Super PACs. These entities will, like mysterious patrons at a bazaar, shower coins upon candidates who whisper sweet nothings about AI, while vehemently opposing those who do not appreciate its splendors. Their targets? Every race, from the most insignificant primary to the bloated general election, shall not be spared their attentions! 🗳️

But their ambition does not stop at mere electioneering! Oh no! They will also busy themselves with the drafting of policy proposals-reams of paper destined for some dusty archive-and the gentle, persistent art of lobbying. They shall even rate our poor lawmakers, assigning scores to their voting records as a schoolmaster grades a particularly dull child. And, as if this were not enough, a great public relations campaign will be launched, aimed at convincing the common man that these silicon intellects are his greatest friends and not the architects of his eventual, leisurely obsolescence. 🎩

The supporters of this venture read like a guest list for a most exclusive and peculiar ball: Andreessen Horowitz (returning for another performance), the Brockmans, the firm Perplexity (a fitting name!), Ron Conway of SV Angel, and Joe Lonsdale of 8VC.

The Ape Imitates Its Master 🤡

The entire playbook of “Leading the Future” is a mere echo, a ghostly reverberation, of the strategies employed by the crypto groups, such as the one calling itself Fairshake. This Fairshake, if you can believe it, was the largest of the Super PACs in the recent 2024 elections! Andreessen Horowitz, that busybody of capital, was a chief backer there as well, alongside other titans like Coinbase and Ripple Labs.

This Fairshake deployed a war chest exceeding $200 million to bolster the campaigns of candidates friendly to their cryptographic dreams, while ruthlessly dismantling the careers of those who were not. And by their own triumphant boasting, the results were a thing of beauty! Following the November 2024 elections, a veritable army of over 250 pro-crypto candidates marched into Congress. Most of these new souls hailed from the Republican party, and the Super PAC, with the cold efficiency of a executioner, succeeded in unseating several incumbents who had grown far too comfortable in their long-held posts.

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2025-08-25 23:55