The Absurd Gospel of Bitcoin & SPACs: How Madness Became the New Normal

Ah, Palihapitiya-once the solemn prophet of crypto’s demise in America, now the cheerful undertaker of his own words. Such is life! His new S-1 filing arrived like a drunken guest at a funeral, stumbling in and declaring the deceased “merely resting.” Marvelous, isn’t it? 🍷

With Steven Trieu-Social Capital’s very serious CEO-holding the reins, this SPAC shall gallop onto the stock exchange under the ticker AEXA. Another notch in the bedpost of capitalism’s romantic escapades!

Of course, Palihapitiya’s SPACs-some triumphant chariots of finance (SoFi), others collapsing like soufflés in a snowstorm. Ah, the fickle mistress of speculation! Who could resist such a gamble?

Google’s Noble Crusade Into Bitcoin Mining

Tech behemoth Google, in its infinite wisdom, now owns 14% of TeraWulf-because nothing says “future-proof” like a marriage of AI infrastructure and Bitcoin mining! 🤖⚒️ Truly, the poets of Silicon Valley outdo themselves.

Fluidstack’s lease agreement? A colocation deal spanning a decadent ten years, as if time itself weren’t doubtfully mortal. The data center-CB-5-sounds less like a building and more like a discarded Star Wars droid, but no matter! Expansion is the opium of corporations.

The Global Comedy Tour

Once, corporate Bitcoin hoarding was a quaint American eccentricity-now, like bad reality TV, it conquers the world. 🌍💰

From December 2024 to June 2025, publicly traded Bitcoin addicts doubled-70 to 134-spread across 27 nations with the determination of missionaries and the risk appetite of circus performers.

244,991 BTC-collected with the fervor of stamp enthusiasts but, alas, none of the charm. MicroStrategy’s “brilliant” (or, perhaps, gloriously reckless) playbook now inspires imitators from Canada, Japan, even the famously stoic UK!

But regulators circle like vultures at a picnic. Will these Bitcoin treasuries flourish? Or will they fold like cheap deck chairs, leaving their investors stranded in the storm? Stay tuned for the tragicomedy’s next act!

And so we wait-breathless, skeptical, vaguely amused-as Bitcoin’s corporate experiment skids toward its grand reckoning. Will they rise victorious? Or will they crumble, another cautionary tale whispered in the halls of Wall Street? 🌌 Only time (& regulatory whims) will tell.

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2025-08-20 06:02