Google Just Bought a Bigger Slice of TeraWulf-And Your FOMO Grew 400%! 🤯

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Well now, friend, draw up a milk-crate stool beside the sagging porch of the U.S. economy and listen, because the big dogs are playing keep-away with another bucket of nickels. Out on Lake Mariner, where the wind smells faintly of old pennies and warm circuit boards, TeraWulf is unwrapping a factory-fresh present like a kid who found an extra cracker-jack prize at the bottom of the box-and that cracker-jack’s name happens to rhyme with Google.

Yes, sir, the gentlemen from Fluidstack (who apparently never met a server they couldn’t hug) have flicked their contractual switch labeled “MORE” and ordered up CB-5, a 160-megawatt glass-and-steel corral for electrons. Scheduled to open its metallic maw late summer 2026, right when every respectable intern is sipping iced lattes and pretending to understand Kubernetes.

But wait-there’s always a tourist with deeper pockets. Google, that cloud colossus wearing sneakers and a hoodie, just peeled another fourteen hundred million-dollar bills from its infinite wallet, raising its total IOU to a round, polite $3.2 billion. In barter, they slipped themselves warrants on 32.5 million shares of WULF, which is Market-Speak for “we’ll pay for lunch but we’d also like the entire deli, please.” Their slice of the pie is now a very plump 14%-not quite majority, just enough to clear their throat at board meetings.

Observe, then, the reaction on the Street: WULF vaulted another 10% in pre-market darkness, a number that sounds modest till you remember the thing has doubled since last Thursday-kind of like your cousin who drank four espressos and now insists he can bench-press a pickup truck. Somewhere a day-trader just upgraded his ramen to actual sushi and whispered, “Thanks, algorithms.”

“Unmatched scale,” boasted Paul Prager, the captain steering this electric ark. Translation: We’re making ‘em as fast as the concrete can dry, and the folks stacking gold bars on our loading dock haven’t stopped grinning since the concrete was still wet. Strategic alignment is corporate poetry for “We’ll hold hands until one of us needs a bigger yacht.”

So here we stand beneath a sky sizzling with unseen data, watching fortunes rise like bread in a warm kitchen. The world spins, copper cables hum, and somebody-maybe you, maybe the person refreshing their brokerage app under the table-waits to see whether tomorrow’s ladder has another rung or a banana peel. 🙃

Ah, progress. It smells faintly of ozone, old coffee, and fresh-printed money. Might as well wave-it’s waving back.

Google Just Bought a Bigger Slice of TeraWulf-And Your FOMO Grew 400%! 🤯

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2025-08-18 15:59