When Chaos Meets Coin: Hackers Turn Theft into Tax-Free Treasure 🤑

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What to know:

  • Ethereum’s recent ascent to $4,780 has transformed stolen assets into a financial fantasyland for cyber-crooks, who’ve turned their crimes into a veritable treasure trove of ill-gotten gains. 💸
  • The Radiant Capital rogue, now a self-proclaimed “financial wizard,” has added $48.3 million to their $53 million score. Meanwhile, the Infini bandit’s $25.15 million profit is but a polite nod to their $49.5 million spree. And an unnamed villain? They’ve stolen $9.76 million by selling their loot-how very 2025 of them. 🤡
  • These tales of digital daring underscore an 18-month odyssey of crypto chaos: $3.1 billion spirited away in 2025’s first half alone, with 2024’s $1.49 billion thefts serving as a mere appetizer. 🍽️

Ether’s (ETH) recent jaunt to $4,780 has proven that fortune favors the unscrupulous. High-profile hackers, ever the opportunists, have seized the moment to turn their digital pilfering into a liquidity bonanza. 🚀

On-chain sleuths (hat tip to X’s @EmberCN) have exposed how these cyber-swindlers have liquidated their ETH holdings with the finesse of a Victorian conman. 🕴️

The Radiant Capital exploiter, alleged to be a North Korean “financial artist,” drained $53 million from the DeFi realm last October. They then converted their spoils into 21,957 ETH at $2,414 apiece-only to sell 9,631 ETH for $44 million in stablecoins this week. A masterclass in moral bankruptcy. 🎓

They still hold 12,326 ETH and stablecoin gains, a combined $101 million-$48.3 million more than their original theft. One might call it “financial theater.” 🎭

The Infini exploit’s February antics followed a similar script: $49.5 million in USDC siphoned, 17,696 ETH acquired at $2,798. While laundering 5,000 ETH through Tornado Cash, they sold 3,540 ETH for $13 million in stablecoins at $3,762 apiece. The ETH rally has since inflated their remaining stash, netting an extra $25.15 million. A triumph of greed over ethics. 🏆

An unidentified exploiter, who robbed 17,412 ETH from THORChain and Chainflip in March, sold their loot for $33.9 million DAI at $1,947. In June, they returned to buy 4,957 ETH at $2,495, selling them for $22.13 million in stablecoins at $4,464-a $9.76 million profit. One might say they’ve mastered the art of “ethical ambiguity.” 🎨

These three heists are but a footnote in an 18-month saga of crypto calamity. Investors have lost $3.1 billion in 2025’s first half and $1.49 billion in 2024. A reminder that in the crypto world, even chaos has a price. 💸

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2025-08-15 18:24