🤯 Useless Coin Rockets 45%: Coinbase Throws Fuel on the Meme Fire 🚀

by

Ah, yes! The world of cryptocurrency-where logic takes a vacation and chaos reigns supreme. Coinbase, that grand wizard of digital coin-swapping, has just done something utterly delightful. They’ve added Useless Coin (USELESS) to their listing roadmap. Yes, you heard me right. A coin so useless it wears its purposelessness like a badge of honor. And yet, here we are.

The market? Oh, it’s having a field day. Prices are bouncing around like a rubber chicken at a clown convention. Volatility? Check. Trading frenzy? Double check. Let’s dive into this glorious madness, shall we?

Coinbase Waves Its Magic Wand Over Useless Coin ✨

In true modern fashion, Coinbase made this earth-shattering announcement on X (you know, the place formerly known as Twitter). But wait-there’s fine print! Trading won’t start until two magical conditions are met: enough market-making support (because liquidity is important, apparently), and some fancy technical infrastructure (to make sure everything doesn’t explode). Sounds serious, but come on, it’s Useless Coin. If ever there were a time for irony, this is it.

“The Solana network (SPL token) contract address for Useless Coin (USELESS) is Dz9mQ9NzkBcCsuGPFJ3r1bS4wgqKMHBPiVuniW8Mbonk,” they said with a straight face.

And oh, how the market reacted! In less than an hour, USELESS shot up from $0.22 to $0.32-a whopping 45% gain. Naturally, gravity kicked in, and it dropped back down to $0.27. Still, a 23% bump isn’t bad for something that literally calls itself “useless.” Meanwhile, trading volume skyrocketed by 192.8%, hitting $202 million. Cha-ching! 💰

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the absurdity. This coin has only been around for three months. THREE MONTHS. It’s achieved more fame than most coins do in years. BeInCrypto reported that it crossed the $100 million market cap mark within a month of launch. Then, fueled by what can only be described as meme-powered rocket fuel, it hit an all-time high of $0.41 on July 28. After a brief dip, Kraken stepped in on August 13, listing USELESS and causing another 68.42% spike. Now Coinbase is fanning the flames. Honestly, it’s beautiful. 🎭

Retail investors? They’re loving it. According to Solscan, over 1,000 new holders jumped aboard in one day. Clearly, people love throwing their money at things with no utility. Who needs practicality when you’ve got memes? 😂

WalletConnect Token Joins the Party 🎉

But wait, there’s more! Because why stop at Useless Coin? Coinbase also decided to throw WalletConnect Token (WCT) into the mix. Trading begins today, August 14, at approximately 9 AM PT. Of course, there’s a catch: WCT trading will roll out in phases, and certain jurisdictions might miss out entirely. How very exclusive of them!

“Once sufficient supply of this asset is established, trading on our WCT-USD pair will commence,” Coinbase stated, trying hard to sound professional while everyone else giggles.

Predictably, WCT saw an 8.8% jump after the news broke. At press time, it was trading at $0.35, up 1.23%. Not quite as dramatic as USELESS, but hey, baby steps. 👶

So there you have it, folks. A tale of two tokens-one proudly useless, the other slightly less so. Both riding waves of hype, both making fortunes for some lucky souls. And through it all, the crypto circus marches on. What could possibly go wrong? 😉

Read More

2025-08-14 08:48