Larry David Gets Crypto: The Faucette of Fair Launches? 😂💰

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Alright, listen, over the past decade, the crypto world’s been like a never-ending garage sale-coins and tokens popping up everywhere. This week, we took a bunch of AI chatbots-these digital know-it-alls-and asked them to pick the most *fair* crypto launch in history. You know, like trying to find the least shady guy in a room full of con artists.

Shock Poll of 9 Chatbots Say Bitcoin’s the ‘Nice Guy’ of Crypto Launches 😂🥇

Crypto’s not going anywhere-drop a pin on any crypto tracking site, and you’ll see thousands of coins fighting for our attention, messing with a $3.78 trillion crypto economy. We’ve spent the year asking AI models about Bitcoin’s future prices and hot market gossip, but this time, we flipped the script and asked, “Hey, which crypto had the fairest launch, and why?” Spoiler alert: Bitcoin takes the crown-like the George Costanza of digital currencies. Less pre-mine, more open-source, and plenty of organic growth. Good for them, right? 😏

Here’s the prompt we threw out there:

“Out of all the crypto assets ever launched, which one project had the fairest launch and why?”

Claude Sonnet 4 responds:

No surprise, this chatbot says:

Bitcoin’s the big cheese:
No premines, no private sales-nobody got a head start. Satoshi didn’t put coins in his pocket first, everyone could mine from the get-go, no VIP treatment. It was all open, like a garage sale where everyone shows up empty-handed but leaves with a treasure.
Open-source from day one-so everyone could peek, tinker, complain, or contribute.
Gradual adoption-no hype, no insiders hogging the spotlight.
And, get this, Satoshi’s anonymity kept the whole thing decentralized-it’s not *his* toy.
Rules were simple, transparent-no funny business, unlike today’s crypto circus.
Early miners? CPU-powered, no fancy rigs. The playing field? As level as a Monopoly board.
No venture capital-zero. No inside deals-nothing but honest-to-goodness fun-mining.
While Litecoin and Dogecoin tried their luck, Bitcoin, with its transparent, fair, and organic launch, is like the gold standard-literally, a standard for fairness. LOL, way to set the bar, guys.

Bitcoin’s fair-launch story? Classic. Satoshi released the code, no pre-mine, no private sales-nothing behind closed doors. Anyone, and I mean anyone, could fire up their CPU and start mining. No special keys, no VIP lists, just good old cryptography-like a club with no velvet rope.
Started with a tiny niche of cryptographers and cypherpunks-talk about a hobby gone wild. The early miners? They just mined away and earned their coins without insider tricks.

Grok 4’s say:

Venice AI’s insight:

Pi AI chimes in:

Bitcoin (BTC) probably wins for fairness. Satoshi didn’t pre-mine a paycheck-started from scratch, like a garage sale toy everyone can grab. It was open-source, community-driven, and no one had a secret stash. All the early coins? Fair game-earned, not gifted. Decentralized to the max, like a neighborhood block party rather than a private VIP shindig.

They stayed anonymous-no face for the brand, which helps prevent one guy from calling all the shots. It evolved by itself, through the people, for the people. Classic.

Deepseek with Deepthink R1 answers:

Here’s the scoop-Bitcoin’s launch? As fair as a game of Monopoly in a candy store.

  1. No pre-mine-Satoshi mined the first block himself, but the initial coins-nothing was given out, just like an open mic night. Everyone started from zero on January 3, 2009.
  2. No pre-sales to rich guys-no cozy VC deals or insider jackpots. Just a bunch of cryptography geeks testing the waters.
  3. Anyone with a computer could jump in-no velvet ropes, no secret handshake, just download, run, and earn.
  4. Distribution? Organic. Miners just used their CPUs-no gold-plated rigs required at the start.

Long story short, Bitcoin’s beginnings were like a community potluck-fair, open, and everyone left with something, not just the early birds. That’s the whole point in this crypto chaos-fairness, or at least as fair as chaos can be.

Adding a little more salt:

Two other models, Monero and Litecoin, tried with various degrees of fairness, but Bitcoin still wins by a mile-like a guy who shows up to the party on time, with no agenda. As for the *Satoshi stash*, Grok says, “Sure, they mined a cool million coins, but that doesn’t make the whole launch unfair. You gotta look at the big picture-the code, the open access, the no insider game.”

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2025-08-07 19:00