Picture, if you will, the ever-flamboyant Mr. Tom Lee, czar of Fundstrat, pronouncing with the gravitas of a man unveiling the Eiffel Tower that Michael Saylor’s “Strategy”-formerly MicroStrategy, but one suspects the rebrand was mandated by the gods of grandiosity-could become the Goliath of the entire stock market, thundering over the poor, defenseless Exxons of yesteryear with nothing but a balance sheet and the unshakeable conviction that Bitcoin is the one true coin.
In an interview destined to make petrified old-school investors reach for their smelling salts, Lee compares Saylor’s approach of accumulating Bitcoin with the single-minded fervor of a Victorian gentleman collecting antiques. His method, Lee says, is “changing the reality of the stock market”-which is to say, upending centuries of financial protocol with all the delicacy of a bull in a Baccarat crystal shop.
“Michael Saylor is changing the reality of the stock market, and the reason, my dear Natalie, is that he may well end up running the largest company civilization has ever crafted, assuming, of course, Bitcoin ascends to $1,000,000-or any other number dreamt up on a feverish night by crypto enthusiasts. Yet, curiously, Saylor is not bothered by the vulgar concept of ‘gap-net income.’ Shock! Horror! His fortunes rest entirely upon the bedazzling figures nestled in his balance sheet. How absolutely nouveau.”
“But let us not swoon from shock; after all, when I was but a fresh-faced graduate-before my enthusiasm faded to a manageable cynicism-the market’s darling was none other than Exxon Mobile, prized not for income but for the crude black gold hidden like buried treasure. So, dear reader, we find ourselves in a sort of Greek drama: Strategy as the cunning Odysseus, Exxon the weary Cyclops. Back then, value lay in oil; today, it lies in the digital ether. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose, n’est-ce pas?”
“Strategy could ascend Olympus as one of the world’s titans-not by virtue of earnings (how dreadfully passé), but atop a citadel of Bitcoin. If this is not progress, I know not what is.”
Let us not lose sight of hard numbers amid the love letters to crypto’s mystique: Strategy-formerly the prosaic MicroStrategy, but rechristening is all the rage-now possesses a shimmering hoard of 628,791 Bitcoin, with a market value positively decadent at $72.48 billion. The average price, a mere $73,277 per token. One needs only a modest trust fund or the proceeds from selling a medium-sized duchy to get in on the action.
A brave new world of finance is upon us, and one can only hope their monocle doesn’t pop out from sheer astonishment. 🤑🚀
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2025-08-06 22:07