Look, I’m no stranger to explosive things. My finances after a night in Soho, for one. But this week, Figma decided to publicly undress itself on the stock market, and frankly, the crowd went wild. The share price? Shot up so far above its IPO level you’d need a telescope and three gin martinis to find where it started. Somewhere around $33. Now? $118. As of 3:17 p.m. ET. Yes, I checked. What else do you do during a market crash, knit?
Meanwhile, the S&P 500 and Nasdaq-100 are floundering like I do when someone mentions “tariffs” at a dinner party. -2.4% and -2.2%. Figma, on the other hand, is that obnoxious friend who wins the lottery during an economic apocalypse.
Figma, for those who live under rocks or in relationships with investment bankers (no judgment), makes a web-based design thingy for websites and apps. They IPO’ed at $33 because somebody decided that’s what design software should cost. Today, you’d need a second mortgage to get a piece of the action. And for the record: They just one-upped Circle Internet—no small feat, considering Circle’s stock tripled like an overexcited chihuahua at the dog park.
Figma: The Unicorn Gets a Spot of Sunburn
Valuation? Nearly $60 billion. Yes. Billion. The kind of money where people stop offering you coffee and just ask if you want a controlling stake in Starbucks. Except, in 2024, Figma’s actual revenue: less than $750 million. The maths—if you’re dull enough to do it—feels like one of those Instagram filters: impressive, but probably a lie.
Still, the company did pull off 40% revenue growth two years running. Nearly impressive enough to distract me from my own 40% increase in internet shopping during lockdown. My initial reaction—eye-watering joy—quickly morphs to suspicion. That old friend. Because Figma brags that “95% of the Fortune 500 uses us.” That’s a lot of powerful people on the Christmas card list. Trouble is, it’s also suspiciously close to running out of new Fortune 500 clients. What’s next? Figma for pets? For the elderly? For underground societies of UX designers?
Here’s where my love affair with this bubbly IPO hits an existential crisis. I adore a good moat—preferably with laser sharks—but Figma’s feels more like a soggy paddling pool. Everyone’s obsessed with AI, and trust me, it’s not just the marketers and the doomsday preppers who are out for blood. At this feverish valuation, Figma needs another decade of 40% growth, ascetic discipline, and perhaps a miracle involving mass amnesia among rival software companies. If investing is about seizing irrational opportunities, then Figma might just be this week’s wicked little temptation. Not that I’m about to marry it. (We all know how that ends.)
So do you ride the Figma rocket? Or wait for gravity, remorse, and a pair of sensible shoes to bring everyone back down? Don’t look at me. Hold my portfolio. 🍸
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2025-08-01 22:57