Crypto Kidnapping: $1M Bail Buys Freedom for Accused Torturer 🤯

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In the heart of the concrete jungle, where dreams and schemes collide, a tale unfolded that would make even the dustbowl’s darkest stories blush. This week, a man accused of twisting the screws on a crypto kingpin walked free, his pockets lighter by a cool million. John Woeltz, 37, strolled out of Rikers Island like a man who’d just won the lottery, while his alleged partner-in-crime, William Duplessie, 33, stayed behind to keep the cell warm. 🤑

A Manhattan Townhouse Turns into a House of Horrors

According to the grapevine, Woeltz and Duplessie had a bone to pick with Michael Valentino Teofrasto Carturan, a 28-year-old Italian crypto trader. They allegedly held him hostage in a Manhattan townhouse for three weeks, demanding the golden ticket—his bitcoin password. During this time, they stripped him of his gadgets and passport, leaving him as stranded as a turtle on its back. They even penned a manifesto, a modern-day treasure map to his $100 million crypto stash. 📜💰

Alleged bitcoin torturer walks free on $1M bond after two-month Rikers Island detention

— Fox News (@FoxNews) August 1, 2025

Woeltz’s freedom came courtesy of his father, who coughed up a mix of cash and property to secure his son’s release. Now, Woeltz is under house arrest, allowed to leave only for doctor visits, lawyer meetings, or emergencies. An electronic monitor ensures he doesn’t wander off to plan his next heist. 🏠🔒

Defense: Just a Little Hazing Gone Wrong

Both men pleaded not guilty, with their lawyers spinning a tale that would make even the most hardened frat boy chuckle. They claimed it was all just “fraternity-like hazing,” with Carturan playing the role of the pledge. According to them, the roughhousing was no worse than a college initiation—just a few electric wires, a firearm to the head, and a little dangling over a ledge. Boys will be boys, right? 🤷♂️

Prosecutors, however, paint a different picture. They say Carturan was beaten, drugged, and humiliated, with his captors even urinating on him for good measure. He was eventually able to escape, flagging down a traffic officer like a man emerging from the depths of a Steinbeck novel. Carturan later told authorities his captors threatened to kill him if he didn’t cough up the password. Woeltz, a Kentucky crypto investor, and Duplessie, a Miami resident, now face years behind bars if convicted. 🏛️⚖️

Their next court date is set for October 15, a date that looms like a storm cloud on the horizon. Legal experts say such delays are par for the course in high-profile cases. Meanwhile, this saga serves as a cautionary tale for anyone sitting on a crypto fortune. Strong storage plans and backups are all well and good, but as Carturan’s ordeal shows, they can’t stop a determined criminal—or a pair of modern-day Joads with a manifesto. 🌪️💼

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2025-08-01 21:57