Keonne Rodriguez and William Lonergan Hill, the masterminds behind the Samourai Wallet, scurried into a New York courtroom on July 30, 2025, and cheerfully admitted to running an unlicensed money-transmitting business. 🤝✨
As per a report from The Rage, the duo swapped their “innocent until proven guilty” hats for “guilty pleasure” ones, trading serious money-laundering charges (which could’ve landed them 25 years in a very damp cell) for a slap on the wrist and a side of fines. Rodriguez now owes the U.S. Treasury $250,000, while Hill’s tab totals $400,000. Both agreed to hand over a jaw-dropping $237 million—a generous donation to the government’s piggy bank—to avoid a potential five-year nap in a federal nap pod. 🛌🚫
The developers confessed to transmitting funds from a “spicy noodle soup of criminal activity,” including $200 million linked to the now-defunct Silk Road darknet market. 🍜🕵️♂️ Despite earlier claims that their non-custodial wallet might be “license-free,” the court’s final verdict? A masterclass in legal jujitsu. Their sentencing, scheduled for November 6 and 7, will determine if they’ll trade their Bitcoin dreams for a bunk bed and a library card at the federal prison book club. 📚⛓️
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2025-07-30 21:27