Senator Cynthia Lummis, Congress’s most ardent crypto cheerleader (think of her as the Martha Stewart of blockchain, but with more jargon), claims the U.S. is finally getting its act together. “A turning point!” she declared, which, if I’ve learned anything from politics, means someone’s about to turn the volume on a microwave.
Two bills are now stealing the spotlight: one for payment stablecoins (already signed by Trump, because why not? He’s great at pressing buttons) and another about market structure, which sounds as thrilling as a tax audit but with more acronyms. Bipartisan interest? Groundbreaking! Next, they’ll agree that coffee is, in fact, a necessary human right.
Lawmakers are now arguing over whether crypto assets are securities or not. Good luck! It’s like trying to classify a TikTok dance—rules? What rules?
Lummis also linked crypto to AI, because why have one confusing technology when you can have two? Her AI bill ensures professionals don’t lie to you, which is reassuring… until you realize it’s about the same as asking a magician to “please not pull a rabbit out of your hat.”
To crypto builders everywhere, she says: “Stay the course!” With Trump’s “digital innovation” support and legislation moving faster than my Wi-Fi on a rainy day, the U.S. might just become the Silicon Valley of crypto—or at least the place where everyone pretends they know what a “blockchain” is. 🚀💸
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2025-07-26 03:42