Cramer & Bitcoin? Oy Vey!

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So, CNBC’s Jim Cramer – yeah, the guy who yells a lot – is now suddenly a Bitcoin guy? Unbelievable. He says he “trusts” it. Trusts it! Like it’s a reliable friend who always pays you back. It’s Bitcoin, Jim! 🙄

Apparently, he’s worried about this $37 trillion debt. $37 trillion! It’s a number I can’t even process. He wants to buy Bitcoin “for his kids.” As if Bitcoin is a college fund. A very volatile, could-disappear-tomorrow college fund. It’s like saying, “I’m going to gamble with my children’s future!” What is this world coming to?

I mean, people want to trade. People want to own some as a hedge against the $37T debt. They don’t want to own the debt. They want to own Bitcoin for their kids.
And you know who else feels that way? Me.

— Jim Cramer CNBC Interview

It’s not about believing in Bitcoin, it’s about everyone realizing the whole system is… well, let’s just say it’s not exactly solid. It’s like noticing the Titanic has a small leak. 🌊

This GENIUS Act… Seriously?

And now there’s this GENIUS Act. GENIUS! The name alone is… something. Trump signed it. Of course he did. Apparently it’s supposed to “stabilize” things. Stabilize! It’s crypto, Jim! It’s supposed to be wild and unpredictable! What is this, Switzerland?

Ripple wanting to be a bank? JPMorgan thinking about Bitcoin loans? It’s all just…a lot. A lot of moving parts. It’s like watching a Rube Goldberg machine. It *might* work, or it might just explode.

Michael Saylor hoarding all the Bitcoin? What is he, Smaug? Seriously, 607,770 $BTC! It’s excessive! It’s just… showy.

Bitcoin Hyper: Oh, Another One?

And now we have Bitcoin Hyper ($HYPER). Because Bitcoin isn’t complicated enough. It’s a “Layer 2 solution.” Of course it is. It’s supposed to make transactions faster. Faster! Like we’re all in such a rush. 🤦‍♂️

They raised $4.5 million in presale. $4.5 million! For something that *might* work. People are throwing money at this thing like it’s confetti. It’s insane!

And they’re promising a 12,021% ROI by 2030? Oh, please. That’s just… optimistic. It’s like promising you’ll win the lottery.

It could go higher, they say. Sure, and I could win an Oscar. 🎭

Bitcoin is “Bullish”? It’s Just… There.

Cramer’s still bullish, despite the recent… well, everything. It’s “consolidating.” That’s what they call it. “Consolidating.” Meaning, it’s not going anywhere. It’s just… existing. Like a bad houseguest.

If Bitcoin does go on another run, then *maybe* this Hyper thing will take off. But I wouldn’t count on it. I just wouldn’t.

Look, I’m not giving you financial advice. I’m just a guy yelling at the internet. Do your own research. Seriously. Before you invest in anything, just… think about it. Okay?

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2025-07-24 18:08