90% of Altcoins in Panic: Is This the Final Countdown? 🚨

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Investors were jolted out of their crypto-induced comas on Friday when the US tariff news hit like a surprise plot twist in a horror movie. Markets spiraled into a chaos of liquidation madness, with altcoins plummeting faster than a Bitcoin hodler’s confidence during a bear market. 🐻

Prices may have bounced back, but the fear is still thicker than a crypto influencer’s jargon. Turns out, this panic is just the universe’s way of whispering, “Hey, here’s a fire sale!”-if only you’re brave enough to shop. 🛍️

Buy the Dip or Buy the Farm?

CryptoQuant, the self-proclaimed financial exorcist, claims that when everyone’s fleeing like it’s 2022 all over again, prices dip to levels that scream, “Hey, look at me! I’m undervalued! Please, just give me a chance!” In short: market fear is your new best friend. 🤝

Pro tip: Check the 200-day moving average (200 DMA), the crypto equivalent of a crystal ball. Right now, 90% of Binance altcoins are below it, which means the market’s in full-on “I surrender” mode. It’s like watching a horror movie where the hero finally gives up and says, “Okay, fine, I’ll die now.” 🕯️

History suggests this setup is a recipe for a short-term rebound so spicy, even a vegan would ask for seconds. But hurry-the market’s about to realize its fear was a red herring and normalize faster than a meme coin’s roadmap. ⏱️

If you’re diving in, focus on projects with liquidity stronger than a crypto Twitter argument and on-chain activity that doesn’t involve NFTs of toast. 🥐

“But don’t wait too long,” warned the oracle of CryptoQuant. “Once the market realizes it’s been scared by a shadow, the party’s over. Quick, grab your bag!”

Altcoins: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Joao Wedson, the crypto guru who’s basically a wizard with charts, says altcoins might steal the spotlight soon. But hold your horses! BTC’s still playing the role of the reluctant hero. Expect a few days of crypto’s version of “Waiting for Godot”-dull, existential, and full of sideways price action. 🤷

Ted Pillows, the crypto Cassandra, is already warning everyone: Altseason is a myth as dead as the 2017 bull run. With the altcoin market cap still 20% below peak, chasing dips is like trying to catch rainwater in a sieve. Stick to Bitcoin and Ethereum until they show strength-or at least until they stop acting like they’re in a midlife crisis. 🧓

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2025-10-14 22:10