🤑 Posh Custodian Jumps on Bitcoin Bandwagon, Darling – Simply Too Frightfully Good to Ignore!

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In what can only be described as a perfectly splendid turn of events, my dear readers, the terribly clever chaps at Hex Trust have decided to dabble in something called “Stacks” and “sBTC” – how frightfully modern! 🧐

One simply must keep up with the times, mustn’t one? Bitcoin‘s little playground (or “DeFi ecosystem” as these nouveau riche tech fellows insist on calling it) is positively bursting at the seams. Rather like Aunt Augusta after Christmas pudding, I dare say. On Thursday – a perfectly ordinary Thursday, mind you – Hex Trust joined the parade with all the enthusiasm of a debutante at her first ball. 🎭

The whole affair reminds me of that ghastly business at Lady Metcalfe’s garden party, where everyone suddenly became terribly excited about investing in railway bonds. Now it’s all “staking yields” and “Bitcoin terms” – presumably some sort of financial esperanto that the younger generation has invented to confuse their elders. 💷

“We’re simply trying to make Bitcoin tremendously proper and awfully regulated,” declared Giorgia Pellizzari, who holds the rather grandiose title of Head of Custody at Hex Trust. (One assumes she keeps the keys in a particularly well-appointed drawer.) 🗝️

The Oriental Adventure

The timing, as it happens, coincides rather neatly with Asia and the UAE simply going mad for Bitcoin – rather like the way Great-Aunt Constance went mad for sherry, though presumably with fewer embarrassing incidents at family gatherings. 🍶

Kyle Ellicott – who sounds like he ought to be playing cricket but instead occupies himself with something called the Stacks Asia Foundation – made some frightfully important-sounding pronouncement about “infrastructure” and “programmable future.” One nodded politely, naturally. 🎩

The whole business of holding these crypto assets directly is apparently terribly difficult for institutions – rather like trying to eat peas with a knife, I suppose. Thus, they rely on these custodian chappies to do the dirty work, much like one relies on Jeeves to handle the more tedious aspects of daily life. 🧐

And so, dear readers, we find ourselves in this brave new world where Bitcoin apparently breeds like rabbits through something called “DeFi protocols.” The mind positively boggles. Though I must say, it all sounds rather more exciting than that ghastly business with the pound sterling in ’31. Toodle-pip! 🎪

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2025-04-10 17:00