Bitcoin! What a charming charlatan it truly is, plummeting like a poet from behind a church screen-bridled not by laws of mathematics, but by the invisible hand of fate! From the lofty $91,000, our beloved BTC sank to a paltry $85,000, as if tripping over its own ego on Binance. One can only imagine the gasps of aristocrats at the tea tables of investment circles. 🕺
The fall was so dramatic, it would’ve made Pushkin weep. In mere hours, $650 million in positions liquidated like a poorly kept secret-390% more than the previous 24! A cakewalk for the bears, one would say, if bears wore top hats and smoked imperial cigars. 🐻🎩
Dear CryptoPotato had naively whispered of recovery just yesterday, but the market, that unpredictable poet, answered with a verse written in red ink. Bitcoin, once “settled” near $91,000, now stumbles like a drunkard at a masquerade ball-leading the waltz of despair. 💃🕺
Behold the heatmap above! A catastrophe of such scale, even a drunk monk would cross himself. Altcoins bleed rivers of rubles! Will they retake their thrones? Only to be beheaded again by the crown of greed. 🦊👑
Let us memorialize the fallen: XRP (7.3%), SOL (7%), HYPE (8.2%), and even poor XLM (8.7%)! ZEC, once vaunted, now falls with the grace of a donkey at a dress rehearsal-21.6% in 24 hours. What a tragedy! What a rollicking comedy of errors! 🐴🎭
The cryptocurrency market cap? Behold, a majestic $3 trillion, ash from yesterday’s campfire! CoinGecko weeps from one eye, CoinMarketCap from the other-discrepancies like a sob story. Or perhaps it’s a divine joke, proving that in crypto, only fools and Gogol remain impervious to madness. 🤡💸
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2025-12-01 09:36