🚀 Ethereum’s Wild Ride: Trump, Tariffs, and $19B in Tears! 😭

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Oh, darling, last Friday was a total Bridget Jones’s diary entry of a day for Ethereum. 🍷 US and China decided to have a little tiff, and suddenly, it’s like Mark Darcy just ghosted you-but with billions on the line. 💔 The crypto world went into full meltdown mode, triggering the biggest liquidation event in history. Yes, bigger than that time you accidentally wore mismatched shoes to work. 👠👢

Poor Ethereum, the second-hottest date in the crypto ball, took a nosedive so dramatic it made your last breakup look like a polite handshake. 💸✨ Prices plummeted, technical support levels were shattered, and the derivatives market? Well, it went colder than your ex’s texts. ❄️

A Technical Saga of Woes and (Thank God) Recovery

According to the crypto oracle _OnChain, this drama played out in ten acts on a 30-minute chart. 🎭 Acts 1-3 were all “you go, girl!” with buyers in charge and prices sashaying above the EMA 96, SMA 240, and the AVWAP of October’s uptrend. But then, plot twist! Acts 4 and 5 brought the first signs of trouble-like when you notice your crush is suddenly texting back with one-word answers. 📉 The price closed below those fancy indicators, and by Act 5, they’d gone from supportive BFFs to icy frenemies. 💔

Enter Act 6: China drops the mic with new export controls on rare earth minerals. 🎤⬇️ Sellers seized control faster than you grab the last slice of pizza at a party. 🍕 Then, Acts 7 and 8 were pure chaos, thanks to Trump’s Truth Social rants threatening tariffs. 🗣️💥 Prices crashed below every support level, and a $19 billion liquidation cascade left 1.6 million traders sobbing into their lattes. ☕😭

But fear not, darlings! Acts 9 and 10 brought a glimmer of hope. ✨ The trade conflict simmered down, and analysts from The Kobeissi Letter whispered that maybe, just maybe, the US had misread China’s tea leaves. 🍵 Trump posted again (shocker), and VP JD Vance played the peacemaker. 🕊️ Crypto prices bounced back like you after a breakup haircut, with ETH closing above all those AVWAPs, EMA 96s, and SMA 240s. Buyers were back in the driver’s seat, and Ethereum was like, “I’m fine, I’m totally fine.” 😌

The Derivatives Hangover and a Silver Lining

The derivatives market, however, was left with a killer hangover. 🥴 Open Interest (OI) nosedived from $33 billion to $18 billion-a 45% drop that screamed, “We’re done with your drama!” 🤚 But here’s the twist: this deleveraging might’ve been the detox Ethereum needed. Institutional investors swooped in like savvy shoppers at a Black Friday sale, turning the downturn into an accumulation party. 🎉 CryptoQuant’s Coinbase Premium Index hit its yearly high, proving that while retail traders were crying, the big boys were buying. 💪

So, is Ethereum back on track? Well, it’s like your love life-volatile, unpredictable, but always entertaining. 🌪️💖 Stay tuned, darlings, because in the world of crypto, the only constant is chaos. And remember, if all else fails, there’s always wine. 🍷

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2025-10-14 23:46