In news that might make the heavens laugh, the Trump Media and Technology Group Corp. (TMTG), in its infinite wisdom, hath decreed a non-binding compact with Crypto.com, to weave a tapestry of exchange-traded funds (ETFs) under the noble banner of Truth.Fi. 📜🌟
Behold! Bitcoin and Cronos to Dazzle in New ETFs
As the fates would have it, these wondrous exchange-traded funds shall be peddled by Foris Capital US LLC, Crypto.com’s own peddler of dreams, featuring a curious broth of digital treasures and the tried and true securities of our fair land. 🏦✨
In a move that would make the alchemists blush, Crypto.com shall lend its mystical infrastructure to the cause, tending to the dark arts of backend operations, guardianship of assets, and the provision of magical coins for the ETFs. 🧙♂️💰
Lo! The ETFs shall hold a casket brimming with cryptocurrencies, including the vaunted Bitcoin (BTC) and the Crypto.com’s own Cronos (CRO), to satiate the insatiable appetites of investors for the digital gold. 🛡️🔮
Devin Nunes, the almighty CEO and Chairman of TMTG, hath spoken with a fervor, vowing to forge “America First” investment products. “We shall champion crypto’s quixotic quests and the grand American enterprises, free from the theatrics of the political stage,” he decreed. 🗣️🇺🇸
Nunes didst swear that the funds would seek out companies that dash towards growth and innovation, offering investors a choice that may tickle their fancy and align with their virtuous hearts. 🏇🚀
Trump Media’s ETFs to Conquer the World, or So They Say
Kris Marszalek, the co-founder and CEO of Crypto.com, did echo these grand proclamations, boasting of the alliance with TMTG and Yorkville America to unleash these never-before-seen ETFs upon the world. 🌍🔥
“We stand tall with Trump Media and Yorkville America, to herald the coming of these ETFs, replete with a basket of tokens, CRO among them. These ETFs shall grace the Crypto.com App, a beacon to our 140 million users scattered across the globe.” 📲✨
But wait, there’s more! TMTG, in its benevolence, doth plan to unveil Truth.Fi Separately Managed Accounts (SMAs), funded by the coffers of the company, as if by magic. 🪄💸
By the grace of Charles Schwab, a tidy sum of up to $250 million shall be invested, expanding TMTG’s domain in the fickle world of financial services. 🏦💼
The much-heralded launch of these ETFs draweth nigh, pending the quill of the agreements and the nod of the regulators. Upon their arrival, these marvels shall be paraded across the United States, Europe, and Asia, for all the world to see. 🌟🌍
In the grand tapestry of coinage, the TRUMP memecoin doth trade at $11.44, a shadow of its former self, having fallen from the lofty heights of $73. Yet, the CRO, at $0.1017, hath seen a leap, though it too hath tumbled from its zenith. 📉📈
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2025-03-25 09:46